Many years ago I had an argument with my parents which ended with my stamping off to my bedroom and my telling myself that this time, this time I would never forgive them for what they had done. I can remember my fury and my sense of injustice. I can remember details of my room in 25, Dogfield Street, Cathays in Cardiff and, even now I can sort of re-texture my childish anger. What I can't do is remember what the argument was about! I can feel the pain, but I can't remember the point!
Although I am argumentative, I do not like arguments. I feel them too keenly. Passionate debate is fine: high words and bluster - but real cross words, felt personal disagreement I find hard to take.
Given that, it was probably not surprising that I was deeply moved by part of the Holocaust gallery in the Imperial War Museum. I mean I was moved by it all, but it was the filmed 'testimony' in the final section where a screen played a film loop of survivors of the camps speaking directly to camera and articulating their feelings that moved me most.
I remember one survivor responding to the questions of memory and forgiveness. To explain the feelings involved the survivor described the experience via a metaphor of a rock thrown into a pool: at first there is the splash and the ripples spread out, then the ripples subside and the surface of the pool is still - but the rock is still there under the water. A version of this explanation informs the short poem that I wrote.
Like my childish self, I can't remember the 'real' inspiration for the sketchy notes that I jotted down, and I have to say that the poem itself was recollection written in sun bathing tranquillity! But though I was, you might say, content when I wrote it, there is an appreciation of unease that informs the lines!
Although the poem is very short, I have tried to compress thought into a wider ambiguity that the chosen words offer.
I think this is the first time that I have used a title as a line in the poem.
I didn't enjoy writing this poem, but I do enjoy reading it. Which I find interesting.
As always, any and all comments will be welcome.
An argument is
liquid: mirroring.
Ripples from a carelessly thrown stone
gift surface substance.
Reflection momentarily obscures
transparency.
Water smooths.
And there, beneath the glass,
and in plain sight,
the lithos, like a monument,
remains for future
use.
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