Showing posts with label Catalonia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Catalonia. Show all posts

Monday, 28 June 2021

Small child running

 Sitting in my customary place outside in the sunshine in the cafe area of the swimming pool that I go to for my morning swim, my chosen table gives me a view of everybody taking their drinks.

There are not that many people there in the early morning, but as the school holidays have started here in Catalonia, there is a steady stream of parents dropping off their children at the Sports Centre for the 'activities' that will keep their kids occupied for the entire day - with meals provided: I've seen the price list and it is good value childcare with healthy exercise thrown in!

Today was the first Monday of the holidays and there were more people than usual so that the tranquility of my 'writing' area was broken by children in various stages of development bein led away by the Tecnics to start their sports.

Apart from one small boy who was vocally unenthusiastic about being left in the centre, most of the kids were keen and some were almost endearing as they marched about clutching racquets that were almost as tall as they were.

But two children caught my eye, a pretty little girl with long flowing hair and her smaller and very much younger brother.  She had an excess of energy and positively swooped around the place, and she was quick on her feet - which was the starting point of the poem.

My mother used to swear that, when I was very young, as soon as I could move, I did.  Whether it was crawling or walking, I was capable of tangential exploration in an instant.  Eventually my parents invested in reins and were so able to contain my infantile wanderlust.

It was the speed of the girl and the realization that she could be somewhere else, anywhere else in seconds that brought back my mother's words and, of course, my mother's fear of my getting lost.

Children do get lost of course, both literally and figuratively, and not only when they are children.  How do parents cope with those,

                       vast circumferences
              beyond parental care
 
that are the normal course of parent/children relationships?

The final image is one that feels right to me, though I do not think that I can fully explain why.

 

 

Small child running

 

“I had to watch you all the time.

A second?  You were gone!”

 

That leitmotiv of memory recalled,

my mother’s words, repeated chorus-like

throughout my life

as I grew up,

and grew away,

came back to me as

 

who knows her age?

- but very young.

Her brother barely out of totter-walk

(and flat-cap-headed

looked a dwarfish drunk)

as smooth agility is almost,

just not yet, within his reach.

 

His sister moves through air

as if like water, thin,

impeding nothing, giving grace

to her loose liquid stretch.

 

And she has speed!

She weaves her brother round,

and runs a path as random as her will.

 

Few seconds pass,

and she is half-a-care away.

 

Some seconds more

and she could be

 

            beyond our sight.

 

The gate is open.

There’s a busy road.

 

Eye-contact pleasantries with friends

is time enough for her to vanish

from her mother’s sight

 

to the indifferent world,

where predatory cars and Men

will stop her run.

 

The energy that stretches,

snaps, the apron strings,

that drags the radii

to vast circumferences

beyond parental care

 

must be a death of sorts.

 

 

For whom?

 

Flesh of my flesh.

I think of bees:

the sting, the pain, the end.


Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Hardy annual

St David's Day, and I rediscovered the little flower sent to me by Dianne (with proceeds going to the Marie Curie Cancer Fund) to mark my national day.
     This is not the first time that I have written a poem about what St David's Day might mean for me, but I did not set out today to write a poem about identity.  The real impetus was the lifeguard who shook my wet hand just before I went in for my swim.  I was strangely moved by the fact that some random Catalan actually knew the significance of the day!
     My mother was notorious for her emotional reaction to things ranging from film of Margot Fonteyn dancing sublimely to Labrador puppies in the Andrex adverts.  No matter how crass the appeal to emotion, my mother would duly emote!  I find myself following her easy emotional involvement and am a sucker for what I find emotionally compelling - and believe me it doesn't take something as overwhelming as Bruckner's Seventh to reduce me to a quivering wreck!  So, I do not trust my emotional reactions to things, when my reason is telling me that the quiver is too glib to be convincing.  But, as the person who knew he had a persecution complex said, "It doesn't stop people persecuting me!" in the same way, knowing that I am easily moved doesn't mean that I am not moved!  Which is basically my explanation and justification for the end of the poem!
     Perhaps in twenty years time I will have sufficient poems to form the basis for a short monograph on the subject of St David's Day and what it might mean for a monoglot English speaker living abroad!




Hardy annual




I couldn’t find a red
so wore a blue.
At least it showed up well –
though people must have wondered
why I chose, today, to wear a
flower, artificial, small, discrete –
as far as yellow, bright,
against a background,
dark, can be subdued.

I tell those who I know by sight
that it’s my national day.
A concept that they understand
though theirs, with ‘English’ irony
(that we think’s just our own),
commemorates defeat, complete, defining –
which strangely gave new life.
They have a mythic saint
the English, share as well.

What does mine mean?  To me?
And here and now?

Perhaps the questions asked,
answer themselves?

The ‘struggle’ with identity
pricks only when a gaudy
daffodil in pinned into my shirt.

Turning from the shower
to the pool to start my swim,
a lifeguard smiles and offers me his hand,
unprompted, shaking mine, “¡Felicidades!
For your special day!” he says.
No daffodil, just skin.  He knows.

And I was moved.
Maybe no more than maudlin
sentiment, but something,
obviously, I recognized. 

And was there
water in my eyes before

I actually dived in!



I feel that this poem will undergo a few revisions before I am fully satisfied with what I was trying to say.  The structure is fluid at the moment and perhaps it might be well to tighten it up.
   The blue pencil calls!