Showing posts with label cafe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cafe. Show all posts

Monday, 28 June 2021

Small child running

 Sitting in my customary place outside in the sunshine in the cafe area of the swimming pool that I go to for my morning swim, my chosen table gives me a view of everybody taking their drinks.

There are not that many people there in the early morning, but as the school holidays have started here in Catalonia, there is a steady stream of parents dropping off their children at the Sports Centre for the 'activities' that will keep their kids occupied for the entire day - with meals provided: I've seen the price list and it is good value childcare with healthy exercise thrown in!

Today was the first Monday of the holidays and there were more people than usual so that the tranquility of my 'writing' area was broken by children in various stages of development bein led away by the Tecnics to start their sports.

Apart from one small boy who was vocally unenthusiastic about being left in the centre, most of the kids were keen and some were almost endearing as they marched about clutching racquets that were almost as tall as they were.

But two children caught my eye, a pretty little girl with long flowing hair and her smaller and very much younger brother.  She had an excess of energy and positively swooped around the place, and she was quick on her feet - which was the starting point of the poem.

My mother used to swear that, when I was very young, as soon as I could move, I did.  Whether it was crawling or walking, I was capable of tangential exploration in an instant.  Eventually my parents invested in reins and were so able to contain my infantile wanderlust.

It was the speed of the girl and the realization that she could be somewhere else, anywhere else in seconds that brought back my mother's words and, of course, my mother's fear of my getting lost.

Children do get lost of course, both literally and figuratively, and not only when they are children.  How do parents cope with those,

                       vast circumferences
              beyond parental care
 
that are the normal course of parent/children relationships?

The final image is one that feels right to me, though I do not think that I can fully explain why.

 

 

Small child running

 

“I had to watch you all the time.

A second?  You were gone!”

 

That leitmotiv of memory recalled,

my mother’s words, repeated chorus-like

throughout my life

as I grew up,

and grew away,

came back to me as

 

who knows her age?

- but very young.

Her brother barely out of totter-walk

(and flat-cap-headed

looked a dwarfish drunk)

as smooth agility is almost,

just not yet, within his reach.

 

His sister moves through air

as if like water, thin,

impeding nothing, giving grace

to her loose liquid stretch.

 

And she has speed!

She weaves her brother round,

and runs a path as random as her will.

 

Few seconds pass,

and she is half-a-care away.

 

Some seconds more

and she could be

 

            beyond our sight.

 

The gate is open.

There’s a busy road.

 

Eye-contact pleasantries with friends

is time enough for her to vanish

from her mother’s sight

 

to the indifferent world,

where predatory cars and Men

will stop her run.

 

The energy that stretches,

snaps, the apron strings,

that drags the radii

to vast circumferences

beyond parental care

 

must be a death of sorts.

 

 

For whom?

 

Flesh of my flesh.

I think of bees:

the sting, the pain, the end.


Saturday, 30 December 2017

Crevice crumbs

My subject matter gets ever more ordinary!  My last poem was centred on nakedness in a public changing room and this present one is about crumbs!
     This too is related to my daily swimming experience, but this time out of the changing room and into the cafe for my obligatory cup of tea.  With the tea (depending on who is making it) I get a couple of those little foil wrapped biscuits that are part of the cup of tea experience.  I tuck one of the biscuits into the side pocket of my sports bag for later use as a base for my home made yogurt, while the other is a treat that I allow myself.  It was the breaking of this little biscuit that prompted the poem.
     I suppose in some ways this is a poem about the writing of a poem, a meta-poem, because while having my cup of tea I try and write something in a small 9 x 14 cm notebook that I have with me at all times.  what I write in this book is usual banal in the extreme, something about the weather or what I am going to do, or more often something I have not done.  But the idea of the writing is to write something, anything, in the hope that a free flow of words might bring something to the surface which can be useful for a poem.  This works sometimes.  Other times, it is just pages of irrelevance.
     For some reason, after the biscuit broke as I was taking it out of its foil wrapper and half the thing bounced on the page on which I was writing, instead of brushing the tiny crumbs away I just looked at them.  Part of me was simply resting after a particularly impressive catch to stop the floorward half of the biscuit from reaching its target, but the other part was thinking about bits and pieces that get caught in the pages of books and are discovered later.  Receipts used as bookmarks, torn pieces of paper, references, comments, newspaper, insects, leaves, photographs, sand, dirt, blood, phone numbers, cloth, ribbon, food, a tiny shell, book marks, money, cards - those are just some of the things that I can remember finding.  There are also the more poignant items when you find something of a parent or a grandparent inside a book that was once theirs.  Or indeed of friends who are still very much alive but far away.
     Whatever the reason for my musing, I decided to leave the crumbs there and wonder if I would ever go back and if I did would I remember leaving them there for me to remember that I left them for that purpose.  So to speak!
     As I say in the poem,
               Should I return,
               as, having written this, I might,
                                        I am conscious that I am deliberately making something out of nothing, but it is also a playing with a concept of memory.
     I am well aware that when I re-visit some of my writing, I read it almost as a stranger - though an oddly prescient one.  Although I cannot directly and precisely relate to all the exact circumstances of the production of each piece of writing, I am certainly strangely in sympathy with the writer!
     I always enjoy experiencing,
               what another me laid down
               for future memory




Crevice crumbs




They’ll stay where pages meet.
Detritus, smaller than a nit.
Memorials to where a biscuit broke,
fell, bounced, but did not hit the floor,
but left some shattered bits to
trail along the notebook’s seam.

Slight specs, like foxing,
on the newly filled-in page.

I turn that page
and run my nail along the crease.
I feel a tiny crunch.

And start another leaf.

This notebook waits for distant eyes
to come back through and glean
the words that have been missed,
that could, perhaps, feed thought anew.

Should I return,
as, having written this, I might,
will I observe small rubble
from a crumbled rusk
and struggle to recall
why it’s still there?

Or turn the pages, losing
what another me laid down
for future memory?



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