Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

Monday, 28 June 2021

Small child running

 Sitting in my customary place outside in the sunshine in the cafe area of the swimming pool that I go to for my morning swim, my chosen table gives me a view of everybody taking their drinks.

There are not that many people there in the early morning, but as the school holidays have started here in Catalonia, there is a steady stream of parents dropping off their children at the Sports Centre for the 'activities' that will keep their kids occupied for the entire day - with meals provided: I've seen the price list and it is good value childcare with healthy exercise thrown in!

Today was the first Monday of the holidays and there were more people than usual so that the tranquility of my 'writing' area was broken by children in various stages of development bein led away by the Tecnics to start their sports.

Apart from one small boy who was vocally unenthusiastic about being left in the centre, most of the kids were keen and some were almost endearing as they marched about clutching racquets that were almost as tall as they were.

But two children caught my eye, a pretty little girl with long flowing hair and her smaller and very much younger brother.  She had an excess of energy and positively swooped around the place, and she was quick on her feet - which was the starting point of the poem.

My mother used to swear that, when I was very young, as soon as I could move, I did.  Whether it was crawling or walking, I was capable of tangential exploration in an instant.  Eventually my parents invested in reins and were so able to contain my infantile wanderlust.

It was the speed of the girl and the realization that she could be somewhere else, anywhere else in seconds that brought back my mother's words and, of course, my mother's fear of my getting lost.

Children do get lost of course, both literally and figuratively, and not only when they are children.  How do parents cope with those,

                       vast circumferences
              beyond parental care
 
that are the normal course of parent/children relationships?

The final image is one that feels right to me, though I do not think that I can fully explain why.

 

 

Small child running

 

“I had to watch you all the time.

A second?  You were gone!”

 

That leitmotiv of memory recalled,

my mother’s words, repeated chorus-like

throughout my life

as I grew up,

and grew away,

came back to me as

 

who knows her age?

- but very young.

Her brother barely out of totter-walk

(and flat-cap-headed

looked a dwarfish drunk)

as smooth agility is almost,

just not yet, within his reach.

 

His sister moves through air

as if like water, thin,

impeding nothing, giving grace

to her loose liquid stretch.

 

And she has speed!

She weaves her brother round,

and runs a path as random as her will.

 

Few seconds pass,

and she is half-a-care away.

 

Some seconds more

and she could be

 

            beyond our sight.

 

The gate is open.

There’s a busy road.

 

Eye-contact pleasantries with friends

is time enough for her to vanish

from her mother’s sight

 

to the indifferent world,

where predatory cars and Men

will stop her run.

 

The energy that stretches,

snaps, the apron strings,

that drags the radii

to vast circumferences

beyond parental care

 

must be a death of sorts.

 

 

For whom?

 

Flesh of my flesh.

I think of bees:

the sting, the pain, the end.


Monday, 11 January 2016

Obey

This poem is part confessional, part autobiographical and part observational.  I'm not sure about the proportions, but the themes are there.
     I suppose that each generation looks askance at how the next is bringing up children and, even if you have no children of your own, it doesn't stop you having opinions.  Just look at ministers of education around the world to see that actual knowledge of teaching is obviously seen as a serious disadvantage to the successful carrying out of duties!
     Perhaps it is because the Christmas holidays this year in Catalonia have been unduly (!) extended so that the kids have not gone back to school until today, the 11th of January, that has encouraged me to think about the behaviour of children.  
     It is indeed true that you cannot remain impervious to the daily drama as child after howling child is dragged away from the swings in the outside part of the leisure centre cafe by exasperated parents.  It is also inevitable that you think of your own behaviour when you were that age.  Or at least you think about what you think was your behaviour at that age.  Whatever the truths of the situation, it is one - if only because of the sheer noise involved - that demands some sort of response!
     Living by the side of the sea, we also have a number of sellers who display their goods on sheets which can, in a moment (when the police have been seen) be gathered up and taken away out of the sight of the eyes of the law.  At the moment the objects for sale are sports shoes and mechanical toys, but during the high days of summer we were urged to buy baseball hats with the brand 'Obey' writ large on them.
     It was a combination of memory, observation and need to say something that prompted this poem.



Obey



I was, it must be said, unnervingly
polite when I was small.
When still too young
to understand the means,
I realised how ruthless
being nice could be.

My ready smile and fluent speech
(in accents unattached to who I was)
got me what tantrums never did.

I left the Roath Park swings when I was told;
agreed time limits for the saving
of my castle on the Barry beach
against the boringly relentless tide,
and always said my ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
without prompt.

Outside the house, in streets
where I was free to roam:
in Dogfield and in Malefant,
in Tewkesbury and Robert too,
my father’s whistled rhythm
(one-two and one-two-three and one)
would bring me back at once.
Just like the dogs we later had –
though Labradors were more
recalcitrant than ever Stephen was!

And so I watch the modern kids,
whose parents now
negotiate, cajole and plead
and often are rebuffed
with what looks like imperial distain!

But parenting’s an easy hit
when you have raised
no children of your own
to make your aim unsure.
Instead, reliance on the partial
memories of what you were
steady the telling shot.

I watch a girl ignore her parent’s call
and use her toddling sister’s wanderings
to justify her staying on the swings.

I watch three boys kick at a ball,
and then play on, ignoring
all their fathers’ shouts.
They deign to make faux turns
placating parent protest
allowing gesture, once again,
to take the place of fact.


And at my present age,
and distant from the young
(yet old) remembered self,
it’s tempting to assert
‘Obey’ has just become another
brand on baseball hats
(and always worn the wrong way round)
and that the concept is as distant now
as those delightful, winsome smiles that
creased my infant, knowing face.




The italics and bold print are intentional, as is the extra space before the final stanza.
     There is a sinister feel to the last line which I think is exactly what I was aiming at!