Winter trees - i. Dead leaves

I have been making notes for a new series of poems on 'Winter trees' to link to the series on 'Autumn trees' - you can see where this is going.  I like the challenge of writing linked shorter poems on a topic which has been so central to poetry for as long as we have been around.
          This is the first that I have written from a whole backlog of notes and I have found it very hard going.  What you see here is very much a draft and I imagine that it will undergo a whole series of edits before it makes it to a book.  But I do think that there is something here worth working on.  I think.

Winter trees

i.  Dead leaves

Dust-delicate, thin

fallen, lace reveals

the scaffold’s shards

and splinters.  Sharp,

root-clawing into blue,

the branches show us

what can not be seen.

And distant spring

is coiled into the trunk

for the surprise that’s

old, and always new.

Already I have edited this poem and redrafted it - perhaps that is a sign of the 'hard going' I mentioned!  I think this is an improvement, but it has a way to go yet.

i.  Dead leaves

Dust-delicate,

thin, fallen lace

reveals

the scaffold’s shards and

splinters. 

Sharp,

root-clawing into blue,

the branches show

what isn’t seen.

And distant Spring

coiling

inside the trunk

for the surprise

that will be old,

yet always new.

I will probably not post another version of this unless there are real and substantive differences.

So much, for what I said in the last sentence.  This is a third version and I am going to give my editing zeal a rest and look back on this some time in the future.

i.  Dead?

Dust-delicate,

thin, fallen lace

of weathered leaves

denudes

the stark geometry. 

Naked,

root-clawing into blue,

the branches strain

from hidden depths.

And distant Spring

coils deep

inside the trunk

and waits for the

surprise

that’s ages old,

and yet, each time,
is new.

I'm sure these versions say something about the way I work, but perhaps I need to press on with other poems and give the thoughts here time to settle!